Important Tax Advice/Economic Stimulus
Apr 8, 2020 17:46:02 #
bahmer
Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
Important Tax Advice/Economic Stimulus
Sometime this year, we taxpayers might receive another economic stimulus.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q&A format:
Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.
Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: Isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:
* if you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, its money will go to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in North America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale or thrift shop, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating here.)
CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
Sometime this year, we taxpayers might receive another economic stimulus.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q&A format:
Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.
Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: Isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:
* if you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, its money will go to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in North America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale or thrift shop, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating here.)
CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
Apr 8, 2020 18:30:45 #
Apr 8, 2020 21:11:03 #
Apr 9, 2020 08:57:28 #
Apr 9, 2020 10:33:00 #
Apr 9, 2020 11:06:59 #
Apr 9, 2020 11:29:30 #
ghaynes1
Loc: Strawberry Plains, TN
Doug Lemmon wrote:
I'll take a prostitute and a case-o-beer to go please!
Make that 2 please. My wife says I can't play with other women anymore but if it helps our economy, I'm sure she will be okay with it. Yeah, right!
Apr 9, 2020 11:57:10 #
ghaynes1 wrote:
Make that 2 please. My wife says I can't play with other women anymore but if it helps our economy, I'm sure she will be okay with it. Yeah, right!
Take one for the team G-man...Take one for the team!!!
Apr 9, 2020 12:01:16 #
ghaynes1
Loc: Strawberry Plains, TN
Doug Lemmon wrote:
Take one for the team G-man...Take one for the team!!!
Somebody's got to step up and do it Doug.
Apr 9, 2020 15:52:19 #
Apr 9, 2020 15:54:15 #
Apr 9, 2020 16:00:19 #
Better Idea. Use the money for a Fishing Charter or Guide and have a good time.
Then it is his error on where he spends the money from you.
No guilt trip or Divorce, or STDs. Make the Beer a domestic one. Fish ON! LOL
Then it is his error on where he spends the money from you.
No guilt trip or Divorce, or STDs. Make the Beer a domestic one. Fish ON! LOL
Apr 9, 2020 16:01:31 #
Apr 9, 2020 16:05:12 #
bahmer wrote:
Important Tax Advice/Economic Stimulus br br br ... (show quote)
If you spend it on certain tractors it stays in the US
Apr 9, 2020 16:47:20 #
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