The Drunk
Mar 6, 2020 12:36:27 #
msmllm
Loc: Huntington, WV
A man and his wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time he thinks and rolls over.
Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing on the porch - it didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there" slurs the stranger. Can you give me a push?
"No get lost! It's half past three, I was in bed and he slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "That wasn't very nice of you."
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up and you had to knock on that man's door to help us?" What if he'd told us to get lost? The husband says - but the guy was drunk - his wife says "he needs our help. So the husband goes back downstairs. He opens the front door and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts - Hey, do you still want a push? And he hears a voice cry out. Yeah please. - Still being unable to see the stranger he shouts - Where are you??
And the drunk replies "Over here on the Swing."
He rolls over and looks at his clock and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time he thinks and rolls over.
Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing on the porch - it didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there" slurs the stranger. Can you give me a push?
"No get lost! It's half past three, I was in bed and he slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "That wasn't very nice of you."
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up and you had to knock on that man's door to help us?" What if he'd told us to get lost? The husband says - but the guy was drunk - his wife says "he needs our help. So the husband goes back downstairs. He opens the front door and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts - Hey, do you still want a push? And he hears a voice cry out. Yeah please. - Still being unable to see the stranger he shouts - Where are you??
And the drunk replies "Over here on the Swing."
Mar 6, 2020 12:43:38 #
I love drunk jokes. That same drunk wandered into a store. There was a bell and a small sign that said Ring Bell for Service. He started ringing the bell. An irritated lady asked what he wanted. He said he wanted to know why service couldn't ring the bell themselves.
Mar 6, 2020 13:16:09 #
Guy walks into a bar and asks “do you serve women here?”. Bartender says “no” you gotta bring your own women
Mar 6, 2020 13:34:47 #
Mar 6, 2020 13:35:28 #
oldsalt wrote:
Guy walks into a bar and asks “do you serve women here?”. Bartender says “no” you gotta bring your own women
Mar 6, 2020 13:35:47 #
oldsalt wrote:
Guy walks into a bar and asks “do you serve women here?”. Bartender says “no” you gotta bring your own women
Mar 6, 2020 14:15:16 #
msmllm wrote:
A man and his wife are in bed when there is a knoc... (show quote)
Good one ms, did not end the way I was thinking. Yours is far better.
Mar 6, 2020 15:33:51 #
msmllm
Loc: Huntington, WV
plumbob wrote:
Good one ms, did not end the way I was thinking. Yours is far better.
At first, I didn't get it. ha
Guess I'm not quick on the drawl
Mar 6, 2020 15:40:18 #
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub.
So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Mar 7, 2020 06:34:15 #
msmllm wrote:
A man and his wife are in bed when there is a knoc... (show quote)
Good joke ms, Thanks!
Mar 7, 2020 06:36:00 #
Smokypig wrote:
The only drunk jokes I know would send me to the attic! Ain't no service in the attic either!I love drunk jokes. That same drunk wandered into a store. There was a bell and a small sign that said Ring Bell for Service. He started ringing the bell. An irritated lady asked what he wanted. He said he wanted to know why service couldn't ring the bell themselves.
Mar 7, 2020 06:37:31 #
oldsalt wrote:
I love to start my day with a laff. You all did it!“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub.
So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Mar 7, 2020 07:08:01 #
Graywulff wrote:
I love to start my day with a laff. You all did it!
I do that by looking in the mirror. Yep, another white hair.
Mar 7, 2020 07:35:05 #
Smokypig wrote:
I love drunk jokes. That same drunk wandered into a store. There was a bell and a small sign that said Ring Bell for Service. He started ringing the bell. An irritated lady asked what he wanted. He said he wanted to know why service couldn't ring the bell themselves.
Was this the same drunk that got into Doyle's taxi?
Mar 7, 2020 09:00:19 #
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