Women's/Men's English
Feb 11, 2020 11:39:27 #
Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
==========================================================
Men's English:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
==========================================================
Men's English:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.
Feb 11, 2020 15:59:11 #
FixorFish
Loc: SW Oregon
Aaaaahhh... single for the past 13-14 years, after marriages of 17 & 10 years....DO NOT MISS DEALING WITH THAT KIND OF CRAP !
Speak in terms that need no interpretation, with no ennuendoes, no b.s.....or simply go away...no matter your relationship to me nor your g****r.... life is too short to be wasted in such mind-games.
If you are recognizing yourself and mate in the above....and tolerate it..... you have my condolences... but my hat will remain on my head, not "off to you",....sorry.
Speak in terms that need no interpretation, with no ennuendoes, no b.s.....or simply go away...no matter your relationship to me nor your g****r.... life is too short to be wasted in such mind-games.
If you are recognizing yourself and mate in the above....and tolerate it..... you have my condolences... but my hat will remain on my head, not "off to you",....sorry.
Feb 11, 2020 16:02:16 #
FixorFish wrote:
Aaaaahhh... single for the past 13-14 years, after... (show quote)
Common denominator they were both females?
Feb 11, 2020 16:38:42 #
Feb 11, 2020 16:41:33 #
FixorFish wrote:
Yes, a Mary Jo and a Cindy.... your point ?
No real point.
I hope you got some kids and grandkids to enjoy.
Feb 11, 2020 17:02:04 #
FixorFish
Loc: SW Oregon
Not really....fathered and raised a daughter (now 38)until a teenager,... horrible choice, that first wife.... turned my daughter against me...wrongly ....haven't seen or heard from her or her mother in 20+ years...sad, but true. Who knows ? Maybe I do have grandkids ?...at this point...not even curious.
I have already had my "last will and testament" made out... the heirs are to be my niece and my nephews and their children...good,respectful, young (and one who just turned 50..wtf ?!!) adults, now, who are much more deserving.
I have already had my "last will and testament" made out... the heirs are to be my niece and my nephews and their children...good,respectful, young (and one who just turned 50..wtf ?!!) adults, now, who are much more deserving.
Feb 11, 2020 18:45:42 #
" Common denominator they were both females? "
Loaded question there.
Loaded question there.
Feb 11, 2020 19:25:31 #
FixorFish
Loc: SW Oregon
I previously mis-spelled a word, in my first post on this thread.... now, plumbob, I get to correctly spell it, since you are commenting on...and seemingly, furthering an INNUENDO !!.....loaded innuendo, loaded question, loaded post comment.... y'all sure you ain't slipped to "the opposing team" ?....... I seem to hear the clucking of hens... LOL !
Feb 11, 2020 19:31:59 #
FixorFish wrote:
I previously mis-spelled a word, in my first post on this thread.... now, plumbob, I get to correctly spell it, since you are commenting on...and seemingly, furthering an INNUENDO !!.....loaded innuendo, loaded question, loaded post comment.... y'all sure you ain't slipped to "the opposing team" ?....... I seem to hear the clucking of hens... LOL !
Without hens as you put it there would be no roosters.
I was just jerkin your chain some.
You made a reference a while back about leaving your son-in-law the ugliest boat you own.
Like I said just jerkin your chain.
Feb 11, 2020 19:51:56 #
FixorFish wrote:
I previously mis-spelled a word, in my first post on this thread.... now, plumbob, I get to correctly spell it, since you are commenting on...and seemingly, furthering an INNUENDO !!.....loaded innuendo, loaded question, loaded post comment.... y'all sure you ain't slipped to "the opposing team" ?....... I seem to hear the clucking of hens... LOL !
" y'all sure you ain't slipped to "the opposing team" "
It's not us slipping to the opposing team, don't know where you are reading that. Just a open loaded question out there.
Feb 12, 2020 00:42:49 #
FixorFish
Loc: SW Oregon
Well, seems some clarification must be in order. While I have no contact, the grapevine informed me that my daughter married, some time back, so yes... theoretically, I have a son-in-law... never met him. And the boat inherited by him, would be because I'm quite certain that when I am gone, my daughter will connive to get something, anything not listed in my will..... even a boat that she doesn't necessarily want ! You have no idea, the "training" she has no doubt received from (as several of my close friends refer to her) "the Queen of Narcissism"...my ex.
Feb 12, 2020 08:02:19 #
Feb 12, 2020 08:46:36 #
Feb 12, 2020 14:04:29 #
Feb 12, 2020 14:09:19 #
Oz, did you find an interpreter to do the women's section? Maybe your Mrs.? The men's part is pretty standard I would think but man you really nailed it with the other!
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