DennyLongley Loc: Bay City Michigan

I recently learned someone criticized and gossiped about me to a mutual friend. Niw, I know this person, and I felt deeply wounded that I was disrespected in this fashion.. especially with the title he holds. My first instinct was the desire to lash out in response. Then I thought of the Apostle Paul’s response to the Jews who were gossiping about him. “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh” (Roman's 9:21 I believe).

Paul faced a lot of criticism in his efforts to spread the gospel to the world. He often answered those trying to discredit or disrespect him in his letters. But he did not do so because of concern about his personal reputation. He was fearful that by discrediting the messenger, the gospel message would be compromised as well. But even in the face of such damaging condemnation, Paul responded in love. He didn’t want anything to stand in the way of people receiving the gospel of Christ.

Because of that passage, I asked God to give me godly sorrow for this person—even at my own expense. Asking myself three questions helped me to respond to the gossip like Paul...

1) why is this person talking ill of me? Gossip is gossip, but find out WHY..

The gossiping man may have felt inadequate. Maybe he has dealt with these situations personally, that maybe effects his better judgment.. who knows but God. His need to gossip, though sinning, I think wasn’t particularly about me, but himself. It was his sinful pattern to deal with his own insecurity. Allowing him to offend me would result in believing his opinion about me rather than believing what God says about me and who I am in Christ.

I truly believe most gossipers are motivated by their own broken self-image. Most often those who listen to a gossiper can identify their motive. But even if they don’t, my worth and value is determined by God, not someone else’s words about me.

2) How can I forgive this person?

Although I wanted to confront that person, I was able to correctly evaluate God’s will because of the peace from godly sorrow in my heart.

Sometimes the Lord will lead us to confront that sinning person. What we say or do needs to be done in love, not in haste or in anger. Seeing their broken heart and motives will give us the ability to love them for their good, not our defense.

My own sin of succumbing to the temptation of gossiping in the past helped me to forgive this man. Forgiving the man DOES NOT MEAN forgiving the action, it means finding peace in YOUR h own heart.The Bible says we can forgive others who have hurt us because we have been forgiven. Colossians 3:13 says: “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

3) Why do I feel threatened?

That question might seem totally ridiculous because the answer is he talked about me! But there’s something deeper. I felt a need to defend the halo around my reputation. To make sure everyone knew I really am a good person. But my peace came from knowing God is in charge of my reputation and He can defend me if He wants. Even if I go around trying to correct other people’s opinion of me, it will only cause me distress. People choose what they want to believe. I can’t control that.

So, I've decided to let go a d let God deal with the situation. Dont gossip, even if you believe it is true. It is much more respectful to keep.your mouth shut about others, and go face to face with the person you feel the need to talk about.. because behind ones back is in NO WAY good couth.

Walk in love. Walk in grace. Go in peace today.

YBIC,
Denny

Randyhartford Loc: Lawrence, Kansas

It just happens that our Pastor preached on that very thing today out of Titus 3. When that happens Denny, just ask yourself : WWJD ?

Dennisjj Loc: Kinston N.C.

Well said denny keep in god brother,you'll be way ahead.God bless

Greg Green Loc: Arvada CO

Denny,
Thank you for your message on gossip and forgiveness. So much of social media is full of silliness, irrelevance, or profanity. Your post was uplifting, refreshing and encouraging. Sounds to me like you have taken to heart 1Pet 5:6 and Mic 6:8. You will be rewarded.
And thanks to FishingStage for not censoring Bible-based posts.

BankStalker Loc: Friendswood TX

thanks Denny, bless you Brother

and you too Greg, I agree whole heartedly