3 Holy Men & 3 Bears
Jan 29, 2020 13:06:38 #
3 Holy Men & 3 Bears
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served
as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at
Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk
shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and
attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, went first. 'Well,' he said,
'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him,
I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother
of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give
him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist, spoke next. He had one arm and both legs
in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, *'WELL, brothers,
you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle ! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD ! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,
UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising "Jesus". Hallelujah !
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying
in a hospital bed. He had broken arms and legs, was in a body cast and
traction, with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad
shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision
may not have been the best way to start."
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served
as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at
Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk
shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and
attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, went first. 'Well,' he said,
'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him,
I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother
of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give
him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist, spoke next. He had one arm and both legs
in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, *'WELL, brothers,
you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle ! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD ! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,
UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising "Jesus". Hallelujah !
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying
in a hospital bed. He had broken arms and legs, was in a body cast and
traction, with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad
shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision
may not have been the best way to start."
Jan 29, 2020 16:17:34 #
The same three went to breakfast. The priest and the pastor made a big deal of loving bacon and ham and sausage. They took a long time ordering and urged the rabbi to help them decide. He stayed silent. When it was his turn, he ordered breakfast and gave the server a little pat on the fanny. She took him to task for that and he apologized. He looked at the other two and said: "So much better than ham."
Jan 29, 2020 16:54:26 #
Jan 31, 2020 19:25:10 #
OZ I thought you were going to tell us the Rabbi was dressed in a bear suit the other two approached. Thats why he was beat up so bad. LOL. Good joke
Jan 31, 2020 19:26:58 #
Gordon wrote:
OZ I thought you were going to tell us the Rabbi was dressed in a bear suit the other two approached. Thats why he was beat up so bad. LOL. Good joke
I can dabble with words and post it again.
LOL
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