It's all in the name
Jan 20, 2020 17:57:12 #
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star.”
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?”
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian.”
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name.”
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.”
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.”
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said and left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed…
"Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
(I don't care who you are, that's funny)
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?”
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian.”
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name.”
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.”
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.”
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said and left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed…
"Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
(I don't care who you are, that's funny)
Jan 20, 2020 18:24:33 #
Jan 20, 2020 18:25:42 #
we live in a semi rural area.We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council to request the removal of the deer crossing sign on our road.The reason?: too many deer are being hit by cars out here!"I dont think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.
Jan 20, 2020 19:00:42 #
Jan 20, 2020 19:09:58 #
Jan 20, 2020 19:10:50 #
fishinphil wrote:
we live in a semi rural area.We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council to request the removal of the deer crossing sign on our road.The reason?: too many deer are being hit by cars out here!"I dont think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.
You left out the blondes name.
Sorry ladies just had to go there.
Jan 20, 2020 19:28:16 #
same neighbor (yes. shes blond) kept on walking back and forth to her mailbox.I saw that and asked why are you constantly doing that? SHE said my computer keeps telling me i have mail.
Jan 20, 2020 19:31:14 #
Got some sad news about the same blond couple.They were just found frozen to death in their car at the drive in movies. They went to see closed for the winter.
Jan 20, 2020 19:33:02 #
Jan 20, 2020 19:36:06 #
They have a daughter, who takes after the mom. She went to the library one day and cheerfully said"IM HERE TO SEE THE DOCTOR".In a stern but hushed voice, the librarian said"miss, this is a library". So she lowers her voice and says" im here to see the doctor"......
Jan 20, 2020 19:40:13 #
Jan 20, 2020 21:20:24 #
Jan 21, 2020 10:03:49 #
Jan 21, 2020 14:13:58 #
fisher
Loc: whitewater,colorado
Two blondes were talking; one says ' let's go to the sun" the other one says"we'll burn up". the first one said "we'll go at night"
A blonde was going ice fishing and headed out on the ice. She started to drill a hole and a loud voice said " there's no fish under the ice. She moved to a different spot and started to drill when again a loud voice said " there's no fish under the ice". She went to move again but the loud voice said " lady this is the ice rink manager and I'll tell you again there's no fish under the ice".
A blonde was going ice fishing and headed out on the ice. She started to drill a hole and a loud voice said " there's no fish under the ice. She moved to a different spot and started to drill when again a loud voice said " there's no fish under the ice". She went to move again but the loud voice said " lady this is the ice rink manager and I'll tell you again there's no fish under the ice".
Jan 21, 2020 16:21:34 #
Three women came up to the pearly gates one a blond one a brunette the other had black hair. The good Lord said to them I'll tell what, I'll tell you a joke if you laugh before you can climb the stairs to heaven you have to go through judgment but if you don't I'll let you go to heaven without having to face judgment. he told the joke the girl with black hair laughed immediately, and was sent to be judged, the brunette holding back laughter made it up three steps, and the blond made it to the last step and started laughing, her being so close God asked her: You were so close why did you laugh? She said: I just got the joke. I'm sure the other two laughed so easily because they knew they would make it through judgment
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