Fishing Stage - Forum
Home Active Topics Newest Pictures Search Login Register
General Chit-Chat (non-fishing talk)
Trying to keep you young!
Page 1 of 4 next> last>>
Nov 8, 2019 15:37:43   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
These great questions and answers are from the days when “Hollywood Squares” game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now ....  I wish Hollywood Squares would come out in reruns.

 

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

 

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

 

Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!  (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

 

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

 

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you  think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

 

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

 

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

 

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

 

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A, Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

 

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

 

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

 

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

 

WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,  WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!  KEEP ON LAUGHING  ‘TIL THE END!

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:03:11   #
Big dog Loc: Bayshore, Long Island, New York
 
EasternOZ wrote:
These great questions and answers are from the days when “Hollywood Squares” game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now ....  I wish Hollywood Squares would come out in reruns.

 

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

 

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

 

Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!  (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

 

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

 

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you  think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

 

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

 

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

 

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

 

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A, Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

 

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

 

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

 

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

 

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

 

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

 

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

 

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

 

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

 

WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,  WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!  KEEP ON LAUGHING  ‘TIL THE END!
These great questions and answers are from the day... (show quote)


That was a Really GREAT show indeed. So many of the old shows on TV were great, mostly because of the politically incorrect humor. In today’s society, you’d likely be arrested for watching those shows in public.😱

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:03:49   #
Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA
 
Thank you OZ. My wife thinks I'm nuts.

Reply
 
 
Nov 8, 2019 16:05:01   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
Spiritof27 wrote:
Thank you OZ. My wife thinks I'm nuts.


For laughing??

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:07:41   #
Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA
 
That too.

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:09:06   #
Graywulff Loc: Cortez,Co.
 
And notice nobody had to use the f word to get a laugh? Ahh for the days when stupid wasn't the rage. Great post buddy!

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:31:40   #
plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland
 
Thanks Eastern. Each line I could see their faces, manners and facial expressions of each comedian. Between that show and the Carol Burnett show they were and still are the best. Laugh In was just okay in my book it had its good moments.

Reply
 
 
Nov 8, 2019 16:32:22   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
Graywulff wrote:
And notice nobody had to use the f word to get a laugh? Ahh for the days when stupid wasn't the rage. Great post buddy!


Shame things are just gonna keep getting worse in that regard.

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:33:14   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
Tomorrow what got said yesterday will be politically incorrect.

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:35:49   #
Graywulff Loc: Cortez,Co.
 
A few years back when I had TV there were reruns of Match Game on GSN. Might still have them. They don't make humor like that anymore, much the pity.

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:36:58   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
Laugh in

MASH

Reply
 
 
Nov 8, 2019 16:38:03   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
F-Troop

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:39:32   #
plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland
 
Smothers brothers.

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:41:03   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
Ahh
Life without snowflakes, in the desert.

Reply
Nov 8, 2019 16:47:03   #
Graywulff Loc: Cortez,Co.
 
EasternOZ wrote:
F-Troop

ANDY GRIFFITH

Reply
Page 1 of 4 next> last>>
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.
General Chit-Chat (non-fishing talk)
FishingStage.com - Forum
Copyright 2018-2024 IDF International Technologies, Inc.