hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather W****stone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking k**ls. If you're k**led, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the k*****gs, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,



"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas ..

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .."

-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theismann, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2020 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

OJdidit Loc: Oak Creek Wisconsin

Those are some classics Hack, thanks!

Retrieverman390

Thanks, I needed a good laugh

Jer Loc: N. Illinois 🇺🇸

Amazing! We must be closer to being a genius than I thought. Believe me, I’m no genius, just a common sense guy.
Well done, my Brother.
🥃🇺🇸🇺🇸

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

You’re welcome OJ. Appreciate it.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

Forest said it best.

Slimshady Loc: Central Pennsylvania

I feel smarter already. Thanks for making my day Hack

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

I feel like a brainiac now, and I know that ain't true.

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

That’s how I felt after reading them, but like you, it ain’t true. Thanks Fred 🙄.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Anytime Slim. My pleasure.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Yeah, and we can read signs and figure it out without reading them. That’s called common sense.😖

Mooseman65 Loc: Seattle

Dahm Hack , I feel like a genius now , much appreciated for sure 👍😂😂😁

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

I’m sorry to tell you this but, a genius you’re not. You misspelled Damn, -20.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

E.pa.al Loc: Martin's Creek

I feel like Norm Einstein now😂😂
Thanks for the laughs Hack

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

You’re sure welcome E.pa. Happy you liked them.👍🤤
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺