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Short jokes
Jan 24, 2023 14:03:22   #
BadFisherman.11 Loc: Central Texas
 
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ever slept with...all the others were nines or tens.

I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and…(pause)…… cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.

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Jan 24, 2023 14:47:00   #
Slimshady Loc: Central Pennsylvania
 
You’re on a roll for sure BF

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Jan 24, 2023 14:53:51   #
OJdidit Loc: Oak Creek Wisconsin
 
Good ones BF!

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Jan 24, 2023 15:01:56   #
Dakoda Loc: Cle Elum, WA
 
Those were a hoot

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Jan 24, 2023 15:36:19   #
Harris T. Fudpucker Loc: Lafayette, Louisiana
 
Some are funny.

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Jan 24, 2023 16:23:46   #
Mauwehu Loc: Norwalk Ct
 
BadFisherman.11 wrote:
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ever slept with...all the others were nines or tens.

I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and…(pause)…… cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ev... (show quote)


👍😁 I will be telling some of those!
Reminds me of
Tarzan comes home and demands “Jane pour me a double!”
“Jane another”
“Another!”
Jane asks “Tarzan what’s wrong?”
Tarzan—-“Jane it’s a F%€<€ jungle out there!”

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Jan 24, 2023 17:25:44   #
Papa Jack Loc: Indianapolis
 
LOL thanks for sharing

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Jan 24, 2023 20:51:42   #
Flytier Loc: Wilmington Delaware
 
🤣🤣🤣

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Jan 25, 2023 01:37:06   #
Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas
 
A clever mixture of words! Just Sayin...RJS

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Jan 25, 2023 09:34:38   #
HenryG Loc: Falmouth Cape Cod Massachusetts
 
BadFisherman.11 wrote:
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ever slept with...all the others were nines or tens.

I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and…(pause)…… cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ev... (show quote)


Good ones BF thanks for the laughs 🤪👍

Reply
Jan 25, 2023 09:49:32   #
kandydisbar Loc: West Orange, NJ
 
BadFisherman.11 wrote:
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ever slept with...all the others were nines or tens.

I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and…(pause)…… cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
The guy's wife said he was the only one she had ev... (show quote)


LOL

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