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Bankrupt Army
Sep 13, 2021 02:41:06   #
Pixiedog456005 Loc: Maryland
 
The American Army ran out of federal funding for the purchase of new weapons.

Before the deployment, the sergeant hands the last man in line a stick and gestures to him to accept.

* "You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout,

* 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout,

* 'Stabbity stab-stab'. Now get moving."

The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at the enemy across the field and shouts,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

The enemy soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another enemy tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts,

"Stabbity stab-stab!" and he too goes down.

So, the soldier starts running through the battlefield, shouting,

** "Bangity bang-bang" and occasionally "Stabbity-stab-stab", until eventually he realizes he's the last man standing.

He's feeling pretty proud of himself until another enemy soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.

The American soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts,

** "Bangity-bang-bang!"

But the other soldier doesn't go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground.

The American soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

But nothing happens. The enemy soldier keeps marching toward him.

Now the American soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out,

** "Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!"

But to his dismay, nothing works.

Finally, the enemy soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.

He stands over the fallen American soldier and says,

*** "Tankity tank-tank."

Reply
Sep 13, 2021 07:19:02   #
flyguy Loc: So. Padre Island, TX. 1 & 2, & S.E. MN. 3-12
 
Pixiedog456005 wrote:
The American Army ran out of federal funding for the purchase of new weapons.

Before the deployment, the sergeant hands the last man in line a stick and gestures to him to accept.

* "You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout,

* 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout,

* 'Stabbity stab-stab'. Now get moving."

The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at the enemy across the field and shouts,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

The enemy soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another enemy tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts,

"Stabbity stab-stab!" and he too goes down.

So, the soldier starts running through the battlefield, shouting,

** "Bangity bang-bang" and occasionally "Stabbity-stab-stab", until eventually he realizes he's the last man standing.

He's feeling pretty proud of himself until another enemy soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.

The American soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts,

** "Bangity-bang-bang!"

But the other soldier doesn't go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground.

The American soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

But nothing happens. The enemy soldier keeps marching toward him.

Now the American soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out,

** "Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!"

But to his dismay, nothing works.

Finally, the enemy soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.

He stands over the fallen American soldier and says,

*** "Tankity tank-tank."
The American Army ran out of federal funding for t... (show quote)



Reply
Sep 13, 2021 08:10:21   #
HenryG Loc: Falmouth Cape Cod Massachusetts
 
Pixiedog456005 wrote:
The American Army ran out of federal funding for the purchase of new weapons.

Before the deployment, the sergeant hands the last man in line a stick and gestures to him to accept.

* "You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout,

* 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout,

* 'Stabbity stab-stab'. Now get moving."

The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at the enemy across the field and shouts,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

The enemy soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another enemy tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts,

"Stabbity stab-stab!" and he too goes down.

So, the soldier starts running through the battlefield, shouting,

** "Bangity bang-bang" and occasionally "Stabbity-stab-stab", until eventually he realizes he's the last man standing.

He's feeling pretty proud of himself until another enemy soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.

The American soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts,

** "Bangity-bang-bang!"

But the other soldier doesn't go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground.

The American soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

But nothing happens. The enemy soldier keeps marching toward him.

Now the American soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out,

** "Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!"

But to his dismay, nothing works.

Finally, the enemy soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.

He stands over the fallen American soldier and says,

*** "Tankity tank-tank."
The American Army ran out of federal funding for t... (show quote)


If it were only that easy

Reply
 
 
Sep 13, 2021 09:25:14   #
Foodfisher Loc: Chula Vista in so. Cal
 
Pixiedog456005 wrote:
The American Army ran out of federal funding for the purchase of new weapons.

Before the deployment, the sergeant hands the last man in line a stick and gestures to him to accept.

* "You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout,

* 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout,

* 'Stabbity stab-stab'. Now get moving."

The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at the enemy across the field and shouts,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

The enemy soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another enemy tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts,

"Stabbity stab-stab!" and he too goes down.

So, the soldier starts running through the battlefield, shouting,

** "Bangity bang-bang" and occasionally "Stabbity-stab-stab", until eventually he realizes he's the last man standing.

He's feeling pretty proud of himself until another enemy soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.

The American soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts,

** "Bangity-bang-bang!"

But the other soldier doesn't go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground.

The American soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers,

** "Bangity bang-bang!"

But nothing happens. The enemy soldier keeps marching toward him.

Now the American soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out,

** "Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!"

But to his dismay, nothing works.

Finally, the enemy soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.

He stands over the fallen American soldier and says,

*** "Tankity tank-tank."
The American Army ran out of federal funding for t... (show quote)

Groanity groan groan

Reply
Sep 13, 2021 17:09:34   #
mistred64 Loc: Grayslake, illinois
 
I laughed but not sure why. Maybe the cocktail I'm having.

Reply
Sep 14, 2021 20:33:05   #
Barnacles Loc: Northern California
 
Foodfisher wrote:
Groanity groan groan


best answer, fisher!

Reply
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