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News Flash !
Jul 22, 2021 18:15:46   #
Big A Loc: Gilbert, Arizona
 
Warning ! This joke is the work
of an individual with a decidely 'warped' sense of humor (ME !) - proceed at your own discretion !

NEWS FLASH !

In what seems to be one of the
strangest ecological disasters in California history, the following
events are being reported, some
by surviving witnesses who were
on the scene as it unfolded !

It seems that someone described
as a portly, elderly gentleman of
short to average stature was
walking through a crowded part of
downtown San Francisco when a
low, 'rumbling' noise was said to
have been heard in his immediate
vicinity. At about the same time,
a foul, noxious, sufurous odor was said to be emanating from the seat
of his pants !

At nearly the same time, a stiff
breeze arose coming from a
northerly direction. It carried the
noxious fumes in a southerly
direction, closely paralleling the
coast. The result was disastrous !

People, pets and various other animals were seen to be 'swooning, and swaying drunkenly in a dizzy,
nauseated condition ! Birds fell from the sky due to having flown through
the 'haze'; most of which were found dead of asphyxiation ! Also, flowers, plants, trees, and assorted types of
shrubbery caught in that 'foul haze'
were said to have " wilted, shrunk
and died" within moments of
exposure. The 'breeze' is reported
to have carried the stench as far
as the southern neighborhoods of
Los Angeles (a distance of nearly
400 miles), leaving in its' wake a
slew of accidents and deaths of people who 'fell off balconies' or
were involved in car accidents as a result of exposure !

In a further, related incident, several
witnesses (who were, fortunately, 'upwind' at the time) claim that the
'infrasonic' (ultra-low frequency)
waves emanating from between the man's buttocks also triggered a 'quake' said to have registered just
above 6.8 on the Richter scale, causing buildings within a fifty
sq. mi. area to 'shudder, shake and collapse' like just so many 'houses
of cards' ! Injuries were in the thousands, with fatalities well over
700 and mounting ! More
information will be forthcoming as soon as further reports come in !

Now, back to our regular
musical program !

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Jul 22, 2021 18:29:57   #
Ne. fisherman Loc: Central Nebraska Arnold
 
Ha Ha, that’s a good one! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Reply
Jul 22, 2021 18:30:23   #
dbed Loc: Brock, Nebraska southeast Ne.
 
Natural disaster

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Jul 22, 2021 18:33:23   #
D Tong Loc: San Francisco,Ca
 
So from what you are saying the rumble from your backside is causing earthquakes and the foul stench that carries for hundreds of miles is killing and leaving occupants of central and Southern California dead and sick 😷 sounds like you need to pull that dead Horse 🐎 out your Butt

Reply
Jul 22, 2021 21:33:29   #
Big A Loc: Gilbert, Arizona
 
D Tong wrote:
So from what you are saying the rumble from your backside is causing earthquakes and the foul stench that carries for hundreds of miles is killing and leaving occupants of central and Southern California dead and sick 😷 sounds like you need to pull that dead Horse 🐎 out your Butt


I think it left awhile back, but about
10 to 15 years ago I had a 'reputation' for clearing a room in record time
(on several occasions) ! Must be the change of diet - don't eat nearly as much Mexican food, pizza or other spicy meals, drink as much beer (or smoke as much weed) ! Made that story up as a joke one crappy day when I was bored and housebound !

Had also re-written lyrics to - "I Left
My Heart in San Francisco" as a follow-up but didn't post it - it was written to emphasize the story
line !

It was titled - "I Cut a Fart in San Francisco" !

Reply
Jul 22, 2021 21:34:56   #
Big A Loc: Gilbert, Arizona
 
Incidentally, no one on the Stage
was targetted - it was written
before I joined !

Reply
Jul 22, 2021 22:26:01   #
Jeremy Loc: Oregon
 
Big A wrote:
Incidentally, no one on the Stage
was targetted - it was written
before I joined !


You stinker..


🀠

Reply
 
 
Jul 22, 2021 22:40:24   #
Big A Loc: Gilbert, Arizona
 
Jeremy wrote:
You stinker..


🀠


I was, once ! Even cleared a picnic table in a 20-knot wind, but not anymore ! If I want to return to my former potency, I'd have to revert
back to my former diet/habits !

And yes ! Back then it was nearly as bad as decomp ! Have been asked more than once if something had crawled up my butt and died ! It
WAS that bad - one of my buddies suggested bottling it and selling it
to the military as a weapon !

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