Fathers' Day Short Jokes
Jun 20, 2021 12:51:52 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q: How do you scare a divorced dad? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his dad was in a jam!
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.
Q: What do you call the father you walk all over? A: Stepdad.
Q: What do toys and boobs have in common? A: Both are made for children but it's the fathers who play with them most.
Q:What is Fathers Day? The day in June when a father remembers he hasn't yet paid the bills for Mother's Day.
Father: Let me see your report card. Son: I don't have it. Father: Why not? Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Man: How old is your father? Child: As old as me. Man: How it is possible? Child: He became a father only when I was born.
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Student: When my father sees my report card!
Mom: Why are you home so early? Dad: My boss told me to go to Hell.
Dad: "Hey babe, you smell that?" Mom: "No." Dad: "Me neither, start cooking."
Father's Day is just like Mother's Day, except on Father's Day you buy a cheaper gift.
Most fathers want their sons to have things they never had, like A's on their report cards.
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.
Man: What does your father do for a living? Kid: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Jake: Do you have any brothers or sisters? Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
Q: How do you know your dad is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q: How do you scare a divorced dad? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice!
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his dad was in a jam!
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.
Q: What do you call the father you walk all over? A: Stepdad.
Q: What do toys and boobs have in common? A: Both are made for children but it's the fathers who play with them most.
Q:What is Fathers Day? The day in June when a father remembers he hasn't yet paid the bills for Mother's Day.
Father: Let me see your report card. Son: I don't have it. Father: Why not? Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Man: How old is your father? Child: As old as me. Man: How it is possible? Child: He became a father only when I was born.
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Student: When my father sees my report card!
Mom: Why are you home so early? Dad: My boss told me to go to Hell.
Dad: "Hey babe, you smell that?" Mom: "No." Dad: "Me neither, start cooking."
Father's Day is just like Mother's Day, except on Father's Day you buy a cheaper gift.
Most fathers want their sons to have things they never had, like A's on their report cards.
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.
Man: What does your father do for a living? Kid: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Jake: Do you have any brothers or sisters? Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
Jun 21, 2021 10:17:57 #
Jun 21, 2021 23:20:22 #
Jun 22, 2021 16:16:36 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
smitty wrote:
good ones bf
gks and i got some epic chuckles
gks and i got some epic chuckles
I figured them to be a good post for Father's Day.
Jun 22, 2021 16:17:19 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Dakoda wrote:
Those report cards reminded me of me:-(
I suspect there are others on this forum who can relate to abysmal report cards.
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