The 2020 Darwins are out!!!!
Apr 12, 2021 15:11:27 #
Here is the undisputed winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Provo, Utah, would-be robber Jason Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. [Seriously, there is a similar story in our family about an employee in my grandfather's furniture factory. Seems 'he' cut off a finger and when showing my grandfather how it happened, he cut off another!]
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be t***sporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. [If someone points a gun at you but gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back from the window and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV.
8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The store clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that’s her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Remember... They walk among us, they v**e, and they breed!!!***
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Provo, Utah, would-be robber Jason Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. [Seriously, there is a similar story in our family about an employee in my grandfather's furniture factory. Seems 'he' cut off a finger and when showing my grandfather how it happened, he cut off another!]
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be t***sporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. [If someone points a gun at you but gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back from the window and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV.
8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The store clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that’s her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Remember... They walk among us, they v**e, and they breed!!!***
Apr 12, 2021 15:52:57 #
Apr 12, 2021 16:34:29 #
EasternOZ wrote:
Here is the undisputed winner: br br 1. When his ... (show quote)
#10 gives real meaning to $&@? for brains.
Apr 12, 2021 16:36:34 #
FourchonLa. wrote:
#10 gives real meaning to $&@? for brains.
Indeed it does.
Bad taste left in his mouth hopefully broke him of the habit.
Apr 12, 2021 16:39:12 #
EasternOZ wrote:
Indeed it does.
Bad taste left in his mouth hopefully broke him of the habit.
Bad taste left in his mouth hopefully broke him of the habit.
He’ll probably sue the motor home manufacturer for not labeling the turd pipe correctly.
Apr 12, 2021 16:43:58 #
FourchonLa. wrote:
He’ll probably sue the motor home manufacturer for not labeling the turd pipe correctly.
And win.
Apr 12, 2021 16:49:19 #
EasternOZ wrote:
And win.
Should have been the Theory of “De-volition. “ don’t know if there’s any turning back.
Apr 12, 2021 16:53:29 #
FourchonLa. wrote:
Should have been the Theory of “De-volition. “ don’t know if there’s any turning back.
As much as history is being rewritten and omitted where is there to go?
And the start with the dumbing down in some areas of knowledge as soon as that start school.
Apr 12, 2021 17:22:00 #
EasternOZ wrote:
As much as history is being rewritten and omitted where is there to go?
And the start with the dumbing down in some areas of knowledge as soon as that start school.
And the start with the dumbing down in some areas of knowledge as soon as that start school.
An ignorant populace is thought to be easier to control. Little do they know.
Apr 12, 2021 17:28:20 #
FourchonLa. wrote:
An ignorant populace is thought to be easier to control. Little do they know.
Yep not the run of the mill populace on this fertile ground.
Apr 12, 2021 19:35:57 #
Criminals aren't to forward thinking a couple of examples that happened here
A robber went to rob a bank and wrote the stickup note on the back an envelope
From his parole officer
The police ran a add in the paper that anyone who turned themselves in would get a portable stereo. As they were leading one man off in cuffs he asked
What about my stereo??
A robber went to rob a bank and wrote the stickup note on the back an envelope
From his parole officer
The police ran a add in the paper that anyone who turned themselves in would get a portable stereo. As they were leading one man off in cuffs he asked
What about my stereo??
Apr 12, 2021 19:41:31 #
FourchonLa. wrote:
#10 gives real meaning to $&@? for brains.
The guy for # 10 can now be the only one i know that can say it taste like Sh##, and i will believe him.
Apr 12, 2021 19:48:29 #
plumbob wrote:
The guy for # 10 can now be the only one i know that can say it taste like Sh##, and i will believe him.
😂😂😂
Apr 13, 2021 00:08:40 #
Apr 13, 2021 08:24:29 #
dbed
Loc: POMME DE TERRE LAKE MISSOURI
More and more of them every day not smart enough to steal and too lazy to work
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