Fishing Stage - Fishing Forum
Old Men Jokes
Feb 23, 2021 11:33:43   #
hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas
 
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'


Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'


A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty..'


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
Hack πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸΊ

| Reply
Feb 23, 2021 11:42:44   #
Gordon Loc: Charleston South Carolina
 
You been following me around Hack? LOL

| Reply
Feb 23, 2021 11:45:10   #
E.pa.al Loc: Martin's Creek
 
Lmao
πŸ‘πŸ‘

| Reply
 
 
Feb 23, 2021 11:47:32   #
kandydisbar Loc: West Orange, NJ
 
Funny stuff!

| Reply
Feb 23, 2021 11:58:53   #
Big A Loc: Gilbert, Arizona
 
Two old buddies, Fred and Al,
are living in a senior home and spend all their nice days out on the patio playing cards, board games, chess and people watching; Rose and Anne are
also residents and constantly trying to get the other pair's attention, but are ignored completely and Rose is getting angry and impatient ! She tells Anne - "tomorrow we're gonna
get their attention; we're gonna disrobe in the shrubs near the patio and streak by them in the buff - that'll get their attention !

Next morning, as the two friends are involved in their chess game, the ladies come streaking right
by their table, naked as jaybirds !
Fred looks up briefly and asks Al -
"Was that them, again ? What were they wearing this time ?" -
"Couldn't really tell, they went by
too fast; I'll say this, though;
whatever they were wearing
was sorely in need of a good
pressing !"

| Reply
Feb 23, 2021 12:53:32   #
hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas
 
Gordon wrote:
You been following me around Hack? LOL


Why yes I have Gordon, ever since tomorrow. Wait! What?πŸ€”
Hack πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸΊπŸΊ

| Reply
Feb 23, 2021 12:54:21   #
hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas
 
E.pa.al wrote:
Lmao
πŸ‘πŸ‘


Thanks E.
Hack πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸΊπŸΊ

| Reply
 
 
Feb 23, 2021 13:36:30   #
Iowa Farmer Loc: Iowa City Iowa
 
hacksaw wrote:
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'


Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'


A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty..'


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
Hack πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸΊ
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center we... (show quote)


I resemble some of those! Thanks, Hack!

| Reply
Feb 23, 2021 15:34:55   #
hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas
 
Iowa Farmer wrote:
I resemble some of those! Thanks, Hack!


You’re welcome Farmer. Glad they made you smile.
Hack πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸΊπŸΊ

| Reply
Feb 24, 2021 23:28:52   #
FinFisherman Loc: Born in Ohio - 40 yrs Florida- Clearwater,Fl
 
Great Hack

| Reply
Feb 25, 2021 14:06:02   #
hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas
 
FinFisherman wrote:
Great Hack


Thanks a lot Fin.
Hack πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸΊπŸΊ

| Reply
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.
FishingStage.com - Forum
Copyright 2018-2021 IDF International Technologies, Inc.