Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty..'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
π€£ππ€£
Hack πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊ
Gordon
Loc: Charleston South Carolina
You been following me around Hack? LOL
Two old buddies, Fred and Al,
are living in a senior home and spend all their nice days out on the patio playing cards, board games, chess and people watching; Rose and Anne are
also residents and constantly trying to get the other pair's attention, but are ignored completely and Rose is getting angry and impatient ! She tells Anne - "tomorrow we're gonna
get their attention; we're gonna disrobe in the shrubs near the patio and streak by them in the buff - that'll get their attention !
Next morning, as the two friends are involved in their chess game, the ladies come streaking right
by their table, naked as jaybirds !
Fred looks up briefly and asks Al -
"Was that them, again ? What were they wearing this time ?" -
"Couldn't really tell, they went by
too fast; I'll say this, though;
whatever they were wearing
was sorely in need of a good
pressing !"
Gordon wrote:
You been following me around Hack? LOL
Why yes I have Gordon, ever since tomorrow. Wait! What?π€
Hack πΊπΈπΊπΊ
hacksaw wrote:
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
' Twelve thirty..'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
π€£ππ€£
Hack πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊ
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center we... (
show quote)
I resemble some of those! Thanks, Hack!
Iowa Farmer wrote:
I resemble some of those! Thanks, Hack!
Youβre welcome Farmer. Glad they made you smile.
Hack πΊπΈπΊπΊ
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