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More things I know
Jan 16, 2021 19:29:58   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
For this first section, say "A man who..." before reading each one:

...runs in front of car gets “tired”.

...runs behind a car gets “exhausted”.

...eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.

...fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.

...stands on a toilet is high on pot.

...streaks on his way to the office is unsuited for his job.

...has a hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.

...keeps his feet firmly grounded has trouble putting on his pants.

...sinks into a woman’s arms will soon find his arms in her sink.

...jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.

:







...fishes in another man’s hole will often catch crabs.

...eats crackers in bed wakes up feeling crummy.

...flies his airplane upside down is bound to have a crack-up.

...gets hit by a car will get that run-down feeling.

...pushes a grand piano down a mine shift will get A-flat minor.

...pees on an electric fence will receive shocking news.

...puts his head on a railroad track will get a splitting headache.

...sleeps on a bed of nails is holy.

...sneezes without a hanky takes the matter into his own hands.

...makes a mistake on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

...drives like hell is bound to get there.






Now here are a few words of advice for women. Say "A woman who..." before reading out these:


...sits on a jockey’s lap gets a hot tip.

...sits on a judge’s lap gets an honorable discharge.

...goes camping must beware any evil intent.

...lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.

:

- A wife who puts her husband in the doghouse will soon find him in the cat house.

- A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem wakes up with the solution in hand.

- A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web, leads to the undoing of the fly.

- The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble – just one prick and it’s all gone.

- In addition, while it takes many nails to build a crib, it takes just one screw to fill it.

However, if you're a man, probably the most important proverb to remember is this:



"A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.

A wise man gives his wife an upright organ."

Reply
Jan 16, 2021 19:57:58   #
OJdidit Loc: Oak Creek Wisconsin
 
badbobby wrote:
For this first section, say "A man who..." before reading each one:

...runs in front of car gets “tired”.

...runs behind a car gets “exhausted”.

...eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.

...fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.

...stands on a toilet is high on pot.

...streaks on his way to the office is unsuited for his job.

...has a hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.

...keeps his feet firmly grounded has trouble putting on his pants.

...sinks into a woman’s arms will soon find his arms in her sink.

...jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.

:







...fishes in another man’s hole will often catch crabs.

...eats crackers in bed wakes up feeling crummy.

...flies his airplane upside down is bound to have a crack-up.

...gets hit by a car will get that run-down feeling.

...pushes a grand piano down a mine shift will get A-flat minor.

...pees on an electric fence will receive shocking news.

...puts his head on a railroad track will get a splitting headache.

...sleeps on a bed of nails is holy.

...sneezes without a hanky takes the matter into his own hands.

...makes a mistake on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

...drives like hell is bound to get there.






Now here are a few words of advice for women. Say "A woman who..." before reading out these:


...sits on a jockey’s lap gets a hot tip.

...sits on a judge’s lap gets an honorable discharge.

...goes camping must beware any evil intent.

...lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.

:

- A wife who puts her husband in the doghouse will soon find him in the cat house.

- A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem wakes up with the solution in hand.

- A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web, leads to the undoing of the fly.

- The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble – just one prick and it’s all gone.

- In addition, while it takes many nails to build a crib, it takes just one screw to fill it.

However, if you're a man, probably the most important proverb to remember is this:



"A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.

A wise man gives his wife an upright organ."
For this first section, say "A man who...&quo... (show quote)


I believe I may have gotten a few of these in some fortune cookies back in the day there, Confucius

Reply
Jan 17, 2021 12:26:24   #
bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
 
badbobby wrote:
For this first section, say "A man who..." before reading each one:

...runs in front of car gets “tired”.

...runs behind a car gets “exhausted”.

...eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.

...fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.

...stands on a toilet is high on pot.

...streaks on his way to the office is unsuited for his job.

...has a hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.

...keeps his feet firmly grounded has trouble putting on his pants.

...sinks into a woman’s arms will soon find his arms in her sink.

...jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.

:







...fishes in another man’s hole will often catch crabs.

...eats crackers in bed wakes up feeling crummy.

...flies his airplane upside down is bound to have a crack-up.

...gets hit by a car will get that run-down feeling.

...pushes a grand piano down a mine shift will get A-flat minor.

...pees on an electric fence will receive shocking news.

...puts his head on a railroad track will get a splitting headache.

...sleeps on a bed of nails is holy.

...sneezes without a hanky takes the matter into his own hands.

...makes a mistake on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

...drives like hell is bound to get there.






Now here are a few words of advice for women. Say "A woman who..." before reading out these:


...sits on a jockey’s lap gets a hot tip.

...sits on a judge’s lap gets an honorable discharge.

...goes camping must beware any evil intent.

...lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.

:

- A wife who puts her husband in the doghouse will soon find him in the cat house.

- A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem wakes up with the solution in hand.

- A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web, leads to the undoing of the fly.

- The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble – just one prick and it’s all gone.

- In addition, while it takes many nails to build a crib, it takes just one screw to fill it.

However, if you're a man, probably the most important proverb to remember is this:



"A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.

A wise man gives his wife an upright organ."
For this first section, say "A man who...&quo... (show quote)


All of them are good there badbobby thanks for the laughs.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Reply
 
 
Jan 17, 2021 14:35:50   #
Barnacles Loc: Northern California
 
I think that BB must have bought a bag of Fat Fong's dirty fortune cookies!

Reply
Jan 17, 2021 15:19:03   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
Fat has clean ones???

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