For this first section, say "A man who..." before reading each one:
...runs in front of car gets “tired”.
...runs behind a car gets “exhausted”.
...eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.
...fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.
...stands on a toilet is high on pot.
...streaks on his way to the office is unsuited for his job.
...has a hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.
...keeps his feet firmly grounded has trouble putting on his pants.
...sinks into a woman’s arms will soon find his arms in her sink.
...jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.
:
...fishes in another man’s hole will often catch crabs.
...eats crackers in bed wakes up feeling crummy.
...flies his airplane upside down is bound to have a crack-up.
...gets hit by a car will get that run-down feeling.
...pushes a grand piano down a mine shift will get A-flat minor.
...pees on an electric fence will receive shocking news.
...puts his head on a railroad track will get a splitting headache.
...sleeps on a bed of nails is holy.
...sneezes without a hanky takes the matter into his own hands.
...makes a mistake on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
...drives like hell is bound to get there.
Now here are a few words of advice for women. Say "A woman who..." before reading out these:
...sits on a jockey’s lap gets a hot tip.
...sits on a judge’s lap gets an honorable discharge.
...goes camping must beware any evil intent.
...lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.
:
- A wife who puts her husband in the doghouse will soon find him in the cat house.
- A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem wakes up with the solution in hand.
- A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web, leads to the undoing of the fly.
- The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble – just one prick and it’s all gone.
- In addition, while it takes many nails to build a crib, it takes just one screw to fill it.
However, if you're a man, probably the most important proverb to remember is this:
"A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.
A wise man gives his wife an upright organ."
badbobby wrote:
For this first section, say "A man who..." before reading each one:
...runs in front of car gets “tired”.
...runs behind a car gets “exhausted”.
...eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.
...fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.
...stands on a toilet is high on pot.
...streaks on his way to the office is unsuited for his job.
...has a hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.
...keeps his feet firmly grounded has trouble putting on his pants.
...sinks into a woman’s arms will soon find his arms in her sink.
...jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.
:
...fishes in another man’s hole will often catch crabs.
...eats crackers in bed wakes up feeling crummy.
...flies his airplane upside down is bound to have a crack-up.
...gets hit by a car will get that run-down feeling.
...pushes a grand piano down a mine shift will get A-flat minor.
...pees on an electric fence will receive shocking news.
...puts his head on a railroad track will get a splitting headache.
...sleeps on a bed of nails is holy.
...sneezes without a hanky takes the matter into his own hands.
...makes a mistake on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
...drives like hell is bound to get there.
Now here are a few words of advice for women. Say "A woman who..." before reading out these:
...sits on a jockey’s lap gets a hot tip.
...sits on a judge’s lap gets an honorable discharge.
...goes camping must beware any evil intent.
...lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.
:
- A wife who puts her husband in the doghouse will soon find him in the cat house.
- A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem wakes up with the solution in hand.
- A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web, leads to the undoing of the fly.
- The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble – just one prick and it’s all gone.
- In addition, while it takes many nails to build a crib, it takes just one screw to fill it.
However, if you're a man, probably the most important proverb to remember is this:
"A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.
A wise man gives his wife an upright organ."
For this first section, say "A man who...&quo... (
show quote)
I believe I may have gotten a few of these in some fortune cookies back in the day there, Confucius
bahmer
Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
badbobby wrote:
For this first section, say "A man who..." before reading each one:
...runs in front of car gets “tired”.
...runs behind a car gets “exhausted”.
...eats too many prunes gets a good run for his money, and will be on the lavatory for many moons.
...fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.
...stands on a toilet is high on pot.
...streaks on his way to the office is unsuited for his job.
...has a hand in his pocket feels cocky all day.
...keeps his feet firmly grounded has trouble putting on his pants.
...sinks into a woman’s arms will soon find his arms in her sink.
...jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.
:
...fishes in another man’s hole will often catch crabs.
...eats crackers in bed wakes up feeling crummy.
...flies his airplane upside down is bound to have a crack-up.
...gets hit by a car will get that run-down feeling.
...pushes a grand piano down a mine shift will get A-flat minor.
...pees on an electric fence will receive shocking news.
...puts his head on a railroad track will get a splitting headache.
...sleeps on a bed of nails is holy.
...sneezes without a hanky takes the matter into his own hands.
...makes a mistake on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
...drives like hell is bound to get there.
Now here are a few words of advice for women. Say "A woman who..." before reading out these:
...sits on a jockey’s lap gets a hot tip.
...sits on a judge’s lap gets an honorable discharge.
...goes camping must beware any evil intent.
...lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.
:
- A wife who puts her husband in the doghouse will soon find him in the cat house.
- A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem wakes up with the solution in hand.
- A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web, leads to the undoing of the fly.
- The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble – just one prick and it’s all gone.
- In addition, while it takes many nails to build a crib, it takes just one screw to fill it.
However, if you're a man, probably the most important proverb to remember is this:
"A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.
A wise man gives his wife an upright organ."
For this first section, say "A man who...&quo... (
show quote)
All of them are good there badbobby thanks for the laughs.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think that BB must have bought a bag of Fat Fong's dirty fortune cookies!
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