How to Survive a BEAR Attack (part II)...
Spirit & the Bear
Spirit was excited about his brand new rifle. Being so excited, he went bear hunting. Spirit was a good hunter and soon spotted a small brown bear and shot it dead.
Spirit was happy, till he felt a tap on his shoulder, he slowly turned round to see a big black bear standing directly behind him. The black bear was not happy and said to Spirit "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have sex." Spirit decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Spirit soon recovered and vowed revenge on the large black bear.
He headed out on another trip where he soon found the black bear and being a good hunter, worked his way into position and shot it. Spirit was happy again.
To Spirit's surprise, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right behind him. The grizzly said to Spirit "That was a huge mistake, Spirit. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we're having rough sex." Again, Spirit thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several painful months before Spirit finally recovered.
Outraged and in therapy Spirit decided to head back to the woods, managed to track down the giant grizzly and shoot it. Spirit felt sweet revenge and was very happy, but then there was another tap on his shoulder.
Spirit turned around slowly to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said, "Admit it, Spirit, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
That is when hunting becomes a huge pain in the ass. Poor Spirit!!!!!!!!!!!
You bite the lime, you lick the salt, you shoot the bear. Oh, shoot the tequila! Somehow I got that mixed up.
So Steelhead Mickey and Spiritof27 were exploring down in the Amazon rainforest and were taken captive by a tribe of primitive natives. Headhunters if you will. After a whole hassle of whoopin and hollerin the chief of the tribe came out to address them. "Because you have trespassed on our sacred burial grounds you must be punished. The punishment for this is death. But because you are ignorant foreigner we will show some mercy, and I will offer you a choice. You may choose death, or you may choose boochaka. Steelhead asked the chief "what is boochaka?" "make your choice", said the chief. Well Steelhead didn't know what boochaka was butt he knew he didn't want to die, so he said "I choose boochaka." The words were no sooner out of his mouth than the whoopin and hollerin started up again with many shouts of "Boochaka!" "Boochaka!" Then they grabbed Steelhead and tied him to a log with his hind end up in the air. And then all the men in the tribe had a go at him. A lot of whoopin and hollerin and screaming on Steelhead's part. When they had finished with him they untied him and told him he was free to go. The chief looked at Spirit. Spirit had of course witness all this, and thinking back to experience with the bears, he decided he would rather die than go through all that. "I choose death" he told the chief. "Death? Then death it shall be" said the chief. "But first a little Boochaka!"
Do ya spose in real life his name is Mr. Bill?
Big dog
Loc: Bayshore, Long Island, New York
Now that’s a good commercial!
I think I would have rather been mauled.
Bears ! Ya never know what to expect ! This is what ya get for goin' bicycling in Alaska; guy
was just ridin' along mindin' his own business when he crossed some grumpy bear's trail ! Ride, buddy, RIDE ! (Wonder if it's the same bear that 'molested' that
hunter!)
Pedal yo' a** off, boy, or you
gonna be lunch ! That bruin
looks hungry !
Gordon
Loc: Charleston South Carolina
That can't be real. that camera man would be running not taking pictures. I know I would and that would not be bear poop in the road. LOL
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