On forgiveness?
Nov 21, 2019 11:19:45 #
Good morning everyone, I hope your morning is blessed so far..
This is kind of a hard topic for me. I'm trying to figure out how to "forgive". I'm at a point in my recovery where forgiveness is a necessity. (of self and others, and over MANY traumas accumulated over a lifetime of bad behavior). I understand the definition, and I understand the act.. I understand the necessity.. what I dont understand is how to "truly forgive". Like, meaningful forgiveness. I can say the words "I forgive so and so about..", and i can say "i forgive myself for such and such.." however, I'm not quite sure how to leave it at that. How do you forgive yourself or others when you dont really want to or even pry into those areas?
I bring this to the boards because there is a collectively wise group of individuals who I'm sure, has a ton of insight. I've prayed about this, I've asked for forgiveness and I know it's a Dunn-dadda with God, however I am human and hold on to my faults and terrible memories just like they were habits and I want rid of them. I want to offer myself and past people, true forgiveness.. because the things of the past are carried over into my present. I've read books on the subject, and I've consulted with pastors, the bible, my peers.. nobody seems to be able to explain it to me. I've often thought to myself (how would I explain forgiveness to my daughter?" Is there a simple solution?
I dont even know if this is a clear post, idk if I'm making any sense lol I'm attempting to get what's in my head and type it out, and it's kinda hard..
Beyond just saying the words and praying, what can I do? Meaningful and not empty..
This is kind of a hard topic for me. I'm trying to figure out how to "forgive". I'm at a point in my recovery where forgiveness is a necessity. (of self and others, and over MANY traumas accumulated over a lifetime of bad behavior). I understand the definition, and I understand the act.. I understand the necessity.. what I dont understand is how to "truly forgive". Like, meaningful forgiveness. I can say the words "I forgive so and so about..", and i can say "i forgive myself for such and such.." however, I'm not quite sure how to leave it at that. How do you forgive yourself or others when you dont really want to or even pry into those areas?
I bring this to the boards because there is a collectively wise group of individuals who I'm sure, has a ton of insight. I've prayed about this, I've asked for forgiveness and I know it's a Dunn-dadda with God, however I am human and hold on to my faults and terrible memories just like they were habits and I want rid of them. I want to offer myself and past people, true forgiveness.. because the things of the past are carried over into my present. I've read books on the subject, and I've consulted with pastors, the bible, my peers.. nobody seems to be able to explain it to me. I've often thought to myself (how would I explain forgiveness to my daughter?" Is there a simple solution?
I dont even know if this is a clear post, idk if I'm making any sense lol I'm attempting to get what's in my head and type it out, and it's kinda hard..
Beyond just saying the words and praying, what can I do? Meaningful and not empty..
Nov 21, 2019 11:29:37 #
My dear Friend.....it is Not what U saw, hear, say, or what you read, think, or even Believed!....it is What U.....DO....that is most important in LIFE !!!!!....Take Care Guys!
Nov 21, 2019 12:04:00 #
Say it mean it let it go.
Letting go is the hardest.
Is that the part your struggling with?
We not change the past, but the future is another story.
Letting go is the hardest.
Is that the part your struggling with?
We not change the past, but the future is another story.
Nov 21, 2019 12:30:54 #
Yes, letting things go, and not allowing things of the past affect things right now..
My past haunts me. I have issues with trust and other important aspects because of my past. I was told that forgiveness is the key element, so I'm trying to understand.. I feel kinda stupid asking such an elementary question, but if i had the answers i guess i wouldn't have all this trama...
My past haunts me. I have issues with trust and other important aspects because of my past. I was told that forgiveness is the key element, so I'm trying to understand.. I feel kinda stupid asking such an elementary question, but if i had the answers i guess i wouldn't have all this trama...
Nov 21, 2019 12:33:28 #
I have no problems voicing my own faults and have no problems saying the words.. I just feel kind of hypocritical because my words are empty, if I'm being honest.. empty because I say I forgive, and I go through the motions, but things always have a way of resurfacing...
Nov 21, 2019 12:39:45 #
Let me explain a bit without going too deep.
December is a rough month for me. It is anniversary time for numerous traumatic events that caused alot of PTSD. Trama from military service happened in December, along with some other tramatic events in December's years past.. every single one was life threatening, and a couple of them was caused by very close "friends" who actually turned out to be finessing me for a long time, never really being friends...I was naive to all that, so know I'm on high alert with every relationship I have... flashbacks of certain things.. all of which i need to get beyond, just dont know how to.
December is a rough month for me. It is anniversary time for numerous traumatic events that caused alot of PTSD. Trama from military service happened in December, along with some other tramatic events in December's years past.. every single one was life threatening, and a couple of them was caused by very close "friends" who actually turned out to be finessing me for a long time, never really being friends...I was naive to all that, so know I'm on high alert with every relationship I have... flashbacks of certain things.. all of which i need to get beyond, just dont know how to.
Nov 21, 2019 12:48:20 #
20 Healing Bible Verses About Forgiveness - Encouraging Scripture Quotes
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/forgiveness-bible-verses/
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/forgiveness-bible-verses/
Nov 21, 2019 13:04:21 #
Sounds like you may already have a handle on the forgiving. It's the forgetting that's proving to be the thorn in your side. I forgive but I never forget. It's a form of self defense. You've been forwarned by those who wronged you in the past so you're on guard against it happening again. All I can say is to let your head temper your heart. I'm sorry I have nothing more to offer. I'll pray about it. Sometimes the answers are helpful.
Nov 21, 2019 13:43:08 #
Denny my friend you asked for an answer that for sure is a tough one. Honestly I do not have a reply because this is one I want to give some thought to. I will be back in touch with you and ask one thing of you.
Please Do not let the topic ruin your days nor you nights.
There is an answer out there and its not an over night fix. Trish and Aurora need you not only this time of year and you need them. You all are in this together, lean on each other and press forward and not dwell on something you need time to fix.
Please Do not let the topic ruin your days nor you nights.
There is an answer out there and its not an over night fix. Trish and Aurora need you not only this time of year and you need them. You all are in this together, lean on each other and press forward and not dwell on something you need time to fix.
Nov 21, 2019 14:07:17 #
EasternOZ wrote:
20 Healing Bible Verses About Forgiveness - Encouraging Scripture Quotes
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/forgiveness-bible-verses/
https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/forgiveness-bible-verses/
Thank you for this E, excellent tidbits.
Nov 21, 2019 14:07:52 #
MadMac wrote:
Sounds like you may already have a handle on the forgiving. It's the forgetting that's proving to be the thorn in your side. I forgive but I never forget. It's a form of self defense. You've been forwarned by those who wronged you in the past so you're on guard against it happening again. All I can say is to let your head temper your heart. I'm sorry I have nothing more to offer. I'll pray about it. Sometimes the answers are helpful.
I appreciate the praying, very much so.
Nov 21, 2019 14:12:26 #
plumbob wrote:
Denny my friend you asked for an answer that for s... (show quote)
Thank you Bob. I feel stressed, not only because of my own crap, but also have to hold it together for the family too, just like you said.. I think that's the main reason for beseeching an answer, so I can get well rid of all this muddy water... Trish is affected, because of my moods, my emotional state at times, and trust issues from wrongs in the past. I absolutely have to work this out, not only for my own peace of mind, but theirs as well. I lean heavy on Trisha, and she on me, but as the old saying goes, we both have heavy baggage and sometimes our baggage fights...if that makes sense.
Nov 21, 2019 15:23:54 #
Denny I recommend professional therapy. Not a psychiatrist, but someone that you can sit down with and work things out. Your pastor may be able to lead you in that direction. Sometimes outsiders can listen and observe things that are just not evident to ourselves, and they can help you to work through it. For what it's worth, whenever I'm feeling like you're feeling and the world is weighing down on me, my fall back move is pretty simple - I count my blessings.
Nov 21, 2019 15:29:29 #
" I count my blessings."
4 Words that tell it like it is.
Amen Spirit
4 Words that tell it like it is.
Amen Spirit
Nov 21, 2019 15:31:41 #
DL, I just sent you an email. Let me know if you have any questions.
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